


John gets called to war

by TheTomBoy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comforting, Crying, Hugging, John getting called to war, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Sleeping in the same bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 20:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15299388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTomBoy/pseuds/TheTomBoy
Summary: John gets called back to war, and has to tell Sherlock.





	John gets called to war

John stared at the email, his fingers tightening on the edge of the table. He couldn't believe it. Apparently, his whole old army was being called to war again, this time in Iraq. There was a bombing going on, a work by terrorists. He swallowed hard, feeling nausea coming creeping up on him. He was gonna be sick. He bit his finger hard, trying to hold back tears. This couldn't be true, not when everything was going so well. He could not return to war now, he had finally got his life together. He got a job, a partner and a home. For once in his life he ate well, he exercised while on cases and he slept rather well. Usually, if he had a nightmare Sherlock would calm him down, and he did a very well job at it. He had gotten used to waking up beside Sherlock. He could not return now, he was already scarred enough. 

And he needed to tell Sherlock. He swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath. Before he could call his name Sherlock entered the kitchen in his lap robe and glasses, a vial in hand. He went to the countertop in front of John to fix something, completely unaware of John’s emotions. Or if he knew, he didn't say anything. John watched his back for a moment, just thinking about how lucky he was. He got this amazing man, who wouldn't hesitate to take a bullet for him. He knew he was blessed to have met him because he needed him. Sherlock made him eat again, he made him forget his limp and he made him sleep through the night. Sherlock saved his life. Finally, he mustered up the courage. 

”Sherlock.” He said. He heard how his voice shook and took a deep breath. Sherlock hummed, not looking up from whatever he was doing. John swallowed hard. ”I got some..bad news.”

Now Sherlock looked up and slowly looked over his shoulder. ”What’s wrong?” He asked, eyes wide and fearful. John met his gaze with the bravery of the soldier he was, before straightening his back. Sherlock watched him, realization slowly hitting him.

”I’ve been called back...Sherlock.” John said slowly, not wanting to shock him. ”I must leave first thing tomorrow morning, my troop…”

”Leave? No no.” Sherlock said and put his things down on the counter. ”You can’t leave.” 

John watched him, the lump in his throat growing tighter and more painful. Sherlock looked at John, eyes filled to the brim with tears. He looked, for once, utterly lost at what to do. 

”They can’t call you in!” He cried. ”You’re traumatized! You already got PTSD! They can’t..” He trailed off as his hands started to shake, and he raised one to press over his mouth. John watched him, one tear rolling down his cheek. He still looked surprisingly tough, like the soldier he was. They looked at each other for a moment, before John stood and slowly walked up to him on shaking legs. Sherlock kept his gaze and once he was within reach, lay a hand on his cheek to wipe the tear away. John wrapped his arms around Sherlock’s back and just held him, feeling how Sherlock pressed his wet face into his neck. Soon Sherlock was crying, his shoulders shaking with each quiet sob. John held him tightly, and even though he was much shorter he still managed to hold Sherlock’s slender body in his grasp. 

”It’s alright.” He said, both to Sherlock and himself. ”I’ve been through this before…” Flashbacks of guns and explosions surprised him, and he squeezed his eyes shut. ”I can survive it again.” He added with a shudder which Sherlock felt. He let out a broken sob and rose a hand to John’s neck, feeling his hair. ”No..” He whimpered. ”You can’t leave now. You are not supposed to leave now. You just got your life back.”

John felt more tears well up in his eyes. He always knew Sherlock loved him, even though he had never said the words. This was about how much Sherlock NEEDED him. They embraced for a long time until Sherlock’s tears were spent. He still shook, so John led him to the couch. They both sat down, and Sherlock laid his head on John's shoulder. John laid his arm around his shoulders and held him against him. It was quiet, except for Sherlock’s soft breathing as he tried to return it to normal. Soon enough John turned to him and wiped his cheeks, before looking into his eyes. He was surprised to see all the raw emotion in Sherlock’s eyes. 

”I will be fine.” He said slowly and clearly. ”I have been through this before, and I survived. I can do it again.”

Sherlock watched him, before lunging himself at him and kissed him. It was a passionate kiss, both deep and gentle at the same time. It was Sherlock desperately needing comfort, yet still, him being loving. John met it happily and raised a hand to Sherlock’s neck to hold him closer. Sherlock almost crawled into his lap, his hand on John’s thigh to hold himself up. John tugged him closer until Sherlock sat in his lap. He broke the kiss to look at Sherlock, breathless, before pressing their foreheads together. He pressed his eyes closed, the bare thought of leaving Sherlock making him sick. He felt a hand on his cheek, and a soft thumb stroking his skin gently. He looked up and met Sherlock’s gaze. His eyes were red and swollen, but his gaze soft, yet sad. John rose a hand to place on Sherlock’s cheek, before letting his thumb feel Sherlock’s plump lips. 

”I can't leave you.” He said so softly Sherlock almost missed it. Now he felt his own tears form in his eyes and shut them. He couldn’t look at Sherlock right now. It reminded him about everything he was about to lose. He felt the hand on his cheek tug him forward before warm lips met his. Blinded by fear and grief he kissed Sherlock back, finally letting his own tears fall. Sherlock’s lips moved slowly against his own as if savoring it as much as he could. John didn't object and rose a hand to put in Sherlock’s locks as if it was the last time. Maybe it was. They were so soft. He pressed himself closer to Sherlock, who was still in his lap. Not in a sexual way, just in a desperate need of comfort. Sherlock kissed him passionately before he shook too much to hold John’s cheek. His clenched his fist, cursing his body for being weak. John noticed, and watched Sherlock with concern. 

”Hey.” He tried forged Sherlock to look at him with the hand on his cheek. He gave a soft, strained smile. ”I will be fine.” Sherlock swallowed hard, before leaning down to press his head in between John’s shoulder and neck. John laid an arm around Sherlock’s shoulders, and they sat like that for a while. John could feel Sherlock’s breaths by the way his chest rose and fell against his own, and tried to match it. Soon John nudged him, and he sat up slowly. Meeting his gaze John gave him an encouraging smile, and Sherlock felt a bit better. Still, his stomach hurt. He rose from Johns lap to run to the bathroom. Concerned, John followed him just in time to see him vomit into the toilet. Shock. He kneeled beside and lay a hand on his back. Rubbing it soothingly he pushed Sherlock’s locks from his face as he spits and heaved until he was done. When he sat back up, his cheeks were wet with tears again. ”This was not what was gonna happen.” He said in a low voice, eyes cast down. 

”We were supposed to live this life. Go to sleep in the same bed, wake up next to each other. Maybe I would even propose one day, for your sake. I know you like that kind of stuff. We could get married, swear eternal love, maybe get a kid. We could do anything…” He trailed off, before letting out a sob. He rose a hand to wipe over his face, before putting it over his mouth again. John stared at the floor, eyes wide and filled with tears. He knew what Sherlock was thinking, and decided to stop it at once. ”Alright, stop it now. You will not wake up alone. Never Sherlock! You hear me?” He said sternly and pushed his locks from his forehead. ”Now go to bed, and I’ll be right there!”

Sherlock looked down before he nodded. John rose to give him a hand, which Sherlock took and rose on shaking legs. He flushed the toilet and went to the bedroom to sit on the bed. He sat there in silence in what felt like forever before John came in with two cups of tea. 

”Sit against the headboard,” John said and Sherlock complied. John put the cups on the nightstand before crawling up beside him and handed Sherlock his cup. He took it in shaking hands and brought his knees up to hold the cup against them to not spill and burn himself. They drank their tea in silence until the cups were empty. The John put them on the nightstand, and they lay down. Sherlock laid on his side, and John laid down to hold him from behind. After a while Sherlock turned around to face John, his beautiful eyes wide and frightened.   
”Wake me up when you leave, I don’t want to wake up alone.”

John’s heart broke, and he rubbed Sherlock’s back. ”Of course.” He whispered and pulled Sherlock closer. He felt the other man lay his head in between his shoulder and neck, the rest of his body pressed against him. His knee bent over John’s legs, radiating warmth through their clothes. 

”John?” Sherlock asked in a very soft voice. John opened the eyes he had closed and looked down. ”Yes?”

”Since this is our last night together for..a while..can we take our clothes off?”

John swallowed hard and nodded. ”Yes.” He said and pushed them both up into a sitting position. They eyed each other as they took their shirts off, and then their pants. Now in only their boxers, they snuggled into the bed again, Sherlock using John’s chest as a pillow. He tangled his legs with John’s, loving the warmth coming from him. 

”John…” He mumbled into his warm chest. John hummed, the dark making him sleepy. ”I love you,” Sherlock said, the words finally leaving his mouth. John’s eyes snapped open, and his chapped lips pulled in a small smile. His arms tightened around Sherlock, and he rubbed his arm.   
”I love you too.” He said and kissed his head, before closing his eyes. He slowly fell asleep to the smell of Sherlock’s shampoo.


End file.
